Sunday, March 29, 2009

When The Going Gets Tough, Fantasize!

Photo Credit: Ira Mejías

You know those days/weeks/months when you start to wonder how you--a practical, down to earth, fun-loving woman--got so obsessed with planning your wedding? Those are the days/weeks/months that I wonder if it's all worth it. Not in a whiny, helpless, pity myself sort of way. Just in a holy sheesh this takes a lot of work/energy kind of a way.

That's when I allow myself to fantasize freely about weddings, marriage, unions and other matrimonial mirages. The fantasy varies depending on the week and the extent of my surrounding chaos, but as with most of my fantasies, it usually involves a deserted beach of some sort and some good old fashioned hippie love. And there are times I think (or say aloud to Jake): Let's elope! Jake usually nods his head enthusiastically, and we start giggling about all sorts of silly ways to get married on the quick, cheap and fun. Of course, sometimes--only minutes later--one of us will start talking about the wedding we are actually planning and the other gets re-excited and energized again. So it's all good.

But some brides and grooms are making good on their fantasies, as I discovered stumbling across this article:
"Many couples are not only down-sizing, but they are attempting to spare their friends and family the expense of attending a big wedding," says Mary Beaty, a Brooklyn chaplain who arranges elopements around the city through her Web site
Christina Petrozella Norman, 29, of Florida was planning a wedding at a huge Victorian house in North Carolina for last fall. She and her husband, Gary Norman, 34, were going to invite about 50 guests to the bed-and-breakfast.
"And we were just having some problems with the budget," she says. "We just decided that we didn’t need the stress and we didn’t want to spend all of that money on a total of maybe four hours. And we would have rather have done something fun and different and get a honeymoon out of it, too.
"I had seen an article about a couple who eloped and hired a photographer to take iconic pictures around New York. So we decided to do that," she adds. So the couple contacted Beaty and were married in Central Park on Nov. 28. There were no guests, so their photographer served as their witness. "I was nervous that it wouldn’t feel like a wedding," Petrozella Norman said. "But in fact, there was something really special and intimate about it. It was unexpected."
"It was the best thing," says Tracey Steinberg, 37, of Jersey City, who decided to wed Sid Lipsey, 38, on New Year’s Day.
They held the ceremony at the Benjamin Hotel in Manhattan two weeks later. "So many people I know are so stressed on their wedding and worried about what the color on the bows on their favors will be. We didn’t do any of that. I was just able to really enjoy the significance of the day," she says.
Beaty recommends choosing a setting that’s right for you, whether it’s the clerk’s office, your apartment, or more romantic spots like the Brooklyn Bridge or on a horse and carriage. She suggests avoiding noisy tourist traps like Times Square and the Rockefeller Center skating rink. "It’s better to have your ceremony in a quiet spot, and then go visit those places for pictures," says Beaty. And there’s no need to spend a fortune on a dress or accessories.
"Buy flowers from a local deli or go to the Chelsea Flower market," Beaty says. "Buy ribbon and pins from the dollar store. You can find many lovely sample dresses and other retro and vintage dresses in New York City. Men can rent a tux if you’re feeling formal, but a nice rose in your suit jacket and a new tie bought from a street vendor is just as fun."
Living in New York and knowing firsthand of all the marvelous, gorgeous and picturesque places in the city, I think the idea of ordering a car and driving around with a photographer (or better yet--photographer friend) sounds like a blast! Definitely a day to remember. With just you and your honey, I bet there are a lot of special and unique moments created between the two of you that only you will share together and treasure. Yep, I have definitely fantasized about that one...

Originally uploaded by Ryan Brenizer

So go ahead and fantasize! Nothing wrong with blurring the line between fantasy and reality sometimes. You never know where it will lead you.

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