I'm Married!!

Photo Credit: © Andrew Cross. All Rights Reserved.

It's over!

I'm a married woman!

And...everything went perfectly! Really.

Even my most critical friends and family had one thing to say: "I wouldn't change a single thing if I could."

I have so much to share and say, but it will have to wait until I return from my honeymoon...

I will share one thing I have learned, though: There is a difference between making the wedding personal and making the wedding all about you. The first lets people into your world, your life, your relationship in an honest way. The latter (in my humble opinion) is a way to show off and make yourself the center of attention (often) without any substance. Putting Jake and I's initials on every napkin, gift box, sign, etc. would not have provided guests with any insight about who we are (though it would be aesthetically pleasing perhaps). Spreading photographs on all the guest tables for them to sift through--on the other hand--does give people a chance to see what we have been up to for the last several years, and what kinds of activities we enjoy (and was one of the biggest hits at the wedding). I definitely feel we did what was comfortable for us, and what felt right. And guests really enjoyed themselves and kept telling us how special the details were. It was all SO worth it!

Much more to share...

See you in three weeks!

Photo Shoot: Wedding Food

That's my cutie, Jake, actually. Not exactly wedding food. Well...never mind. (:

Anyhoo, I know I said I was taking a break from blogging, but I wanted to share this with you before it disappeared off the New York Times website. Readers submitted cool photos of their wedding food. Good way to get ideas. Or just to get your mouth watering.

Besides, if you've always wondered what a hedgehog cake looked like, your prayers have been answered!

Ciao, til way later,
M.

Stepping Away. For a Bit.

Photo Credit: Wedding Thrift. All Rights Reserved.

There are many things that you may not know about me. I'm Type A. I'm a photographer. I used to be a caterer. I'm in over my head (but in a good way)! And you may not know these things because I have not been here and I have not been blogging. Even though (eek) I promised to be better in my last post to you, which was (gulp) in May.

Ok, so here is what I decided. I have too much on my plate, and I need to take an official break from blogging. I am a great multi-tasker, I am. But I am already multi-tasking at my limit.

But but but...I promise to be back! In a few weeks, I get married. And then I go on my honeymoon. And then...then I will be back here. And boy do I have a lot to tell you. About me. About him. About us. About IT. So much has been happening. Crazy wonderful nutty things that I can't wait to tell you about! 

Teaser:

• I got a new, time-consuming, but wonderful and challenging job that is keeping me super busy!
• We made wedding programs--I love them!
• My dress is made. 
• The band is picked.
• Our wedding favors are made, packed, and adorable, if I do say so myself.
• Honeymoon booked.
• Chuppah planned (needs to be built).
• Vows written.
• Appetizer planned (need to be made).
• Kippahs bought.
• Signs made.
• Hotel block filled.
• Table Escort cards made.
• Budget reached. (:
• tux bought
• Shoes...ok, let's not talk about that right now.
• Jewelry chosen.
• Flowers chosen.
• Runners chosen.
• Decorations on their way.
• Website complete.
• Gifts coming in.
• Registry (not your typical registry...) up, running, and working.
• Love for each other intact as ever! (:
• Invitations long mailed and adored by recipients.
• RSVPs collected.
• Final guest list complete.
• Cake topper = adorable!
• Cake chosen.
• Kid's table planned.
• Kid's coloring books, done.
• Kid's coloring book poem, done. Ta da!
• Family dinner prior to wedding planned. Mouth watering...
• First dance song chosen.
• Flower boy and girl chosen and excited.
• Champagne toast planned.
• I'm getting married, folks!

Ok, so you have to believe me that I am SO excited to share all the details with you. I am only praying that I have time to photograph all of it. All the beautiful details and minutia.

I'll do my best, and I'll be back. Check back mid-end of August!

And for all you July & August brides and grooms--GOOD LUCK! (:

Thanks to all of you who have been so generous with your links (Megan!). Don't give up on me. I'll be back with a vengeance. Woohoo!

Hugs,

Maggie.

Peek-A-Boo!

Photo Credit: Stephanie Carter

It has been shamefully long since I last posted. For shame, for shame.

In my defense, I have been busy. Really busy. Jake and I had a whirlwind wedding jolt of activities and projects. The invitations are out (photos forthcoming), RSVPs are arriving, the hotel for guests is chosen, rooms blocked off and reserved by guests, our honeymoon registry is live, caterer is booked, band is booked, website is done (and gorgeous, if I do say so myself), ketubah is in our possession and we have our grubby little hands on our specially ordered kippahs which are purple suede and freakin' awesome! Things are shaping up, my friends!

Oh, and I got this little thing called a new job. A promotion actually. And did I mention a nice raise to go along with it? Not withstanding my soon-to-be plump (er) bank account, we are still operating from a small small small small budget. That won't change. Money in, money out, as it goes. Funny part is, one month into the new gig, I take off for a month for the wedding and my honeymoon. And the New Job People were totally OK with this. Score!

So as soon as you forgive my lack of posting, I'll start posting again. Deal?

Let me at least offer you some eye candy from our recent walks through Central Park as a peace offering. Why not?

Photos: Wedding Thrift. All Rights Reserved.

See you soon. Right? RIGHT!

One Guest Less.

All Rights Reserved. © Wedding Thrift 2009

The strangest, saddest thing just happened. One of our guests died.

She was diagnosed with cancer and a brain tumor two months ago. While the prognosis was not great, it seemed like there was a solid medical plan and recovery was forthcoming. My mom was planning to visit her, but this friend, Dina, postponed the visit after unexpectedly going into the hospital. She told my mom to come in two weeks when she was feeling better. She was there for a week. Then she died.

She was a family friend who had an extra special place in both mine and my mom's heart. We met her at the same time, and both fell in love with her passion, her lust for life, and her talent as an artist. I have had two of her prints hanging on the walls of my apartment for the past 6 years. Through her art, I felt her presence in my home, and we stayed in touch through email. Most recently, I shared with her some of my latest favorite photographs, which she discussed with me at length and echoed my passion for capturing everyday moments in a unique light. She had no family to speak of, just a few artist friends, and my mom, whose companionship involved Proust readings and discussions, the exchanging of travel experiences and a shared love of art, literature and culture.

I looked forward to seeing her in July, and imagined her delight in reuniting with my mom and I. I couldn't wait to introduce her to Jake.

Wedding or no wedding, this is a tragedy. But something about knowing that she was going to be a part of my celebration makes me extra extra sad. It's as if she was a part of the wedding, and now that part is gone. As an artist, I knew she would appreciate the handmade invitations we planned to send, and would take special pleasure in their design and creativity. I imagined her reaction when she opened the envelope, and knew she would take time to examine each piece of paper and savor my writing on the front. I am certain that our Save the Date magnet with our names and a heart is located on her fridge in a barren apartment, as I type. Will it get thrown out? Will it make its way to a fridge of a close friend?

In Jewish--as well as other--traditions, a wedding is considered to be all about community and people coming together and uniting. The family, friends, and mentors of one partner come together spiritually with the family, friends, and mentors of the other. I embrace this perspective wholeheartedly and have found tremendous joy in connecting and reconnecting with friends during the wedding planning process. People had the most unexpected and wonderful reactions upon learning I was getting married, or receiving our Save the Dates. Their enthusiasm and genuine kindness made me even more excited about the wedding, and reminded me daily about the most important part of such a gathering: the people.

Dina was one of the people that encouraged me to value these things, and made me look forward to that day in July when Jake's world would come together with mine. And while she will be there with me in spirit, I can't help but feel that I will look around for her on that day, and be sad for her absence.

I know many brides and grooms have lost loved ones between the time they get engaged and the day they get married. Fathers, mothers, friends, and even partners have been lost before the union can take place, and yet life moves forward. It makes me so thankful for what I have; Jake, a loving family, supportive friends, and health. It makes all the thoughts about napkin rings and RSVP cards seem like an undeserved luxury; trivial matters. And it certainly provides perspective.

I will always honor Dina's passion, and make sure to include her in my celebration even though she can't be there physically. The saddest thing to me, is that I didn't get to tell her how much she meant to me, and how much I looked forward to having her with me on my wedding day, and beyond.

Dina, this is for you. You would have noticed the simple beauty of a single flower petal in the road and celebrated it. You would not have touched or moved it. You would have remembered and painted it later in your home studio. You would have smiled at the sight of it and, if I was there, we would have talked about it. Years later, you would have reminded me of its beauty, just as I am reminded of your beauty now.

All Rights Reserved. © Wedding Thrift 2009.

P.S. Happy Earth Day!

© Wedding Thrift 2009. All Right Reserved.

I'm not a big believer in special days or months designated to issues we should be concerned with year-round, but I made an exception for Earth Day. This is one day where people--especially kids in school--actually DO real things and engage in projects that promote a cleaner, healthier environment and lifestyle.

While snooping around Maya's pretty site, I found out about this cool blog that is dedicating the week to sharing neat and practical projects from ordinary items founds in the recycling bin.

This crayon holder from the Crafty Crow site above might be just perfect for the kids' activity table I plan to put together for our wedding. It's simple and easy, looks cool, and will hopefully entice my kiddie guests to draw their little hearts out:


Or I might get lazy and just take the pack of crayons we already bought (yes, it's a small detail to be focusing on this early, but if you look out for sales you can get this stuff when it's cheap and not when you desperately need it and will pay full price!) and toss them on the table for the grabbing pleasure of the children. Either way, it'll be a fun distraction for them from all the grown up yucky huggie-kissie-lovie stuff going on.

Photo Credit: Ximenacab

Money Talks, Not Emails.

Photo Credit: A Magill

Forget wedding websites, bridal resources, DIY tutorials and vendor reviews for a moment. There are so many funny and entertaining articles written on the subject of weddings. I should know--I seem to stumble upon them constantly: from nutty "Dear Abbys" to true stories of parental woes; hilarious wedding mishap recaps and reports on wedding fads are aplenty. How could I keep them all to myself? No way!

Forget planning your wedding...sit back and enjoy a little wedding entertainment. This "Ask Amy" taps right into something even the best of us have likely encountered: family tension. Whoa! Did I just hit a nerve? This daughter in-law actually emailed her father-in-law-to-be asking him if he would fund her wedding. Talk about bad social skills and being impersonal. Uh yeah, money talk is best done face-to face, if at all, people. Sometimes it seems like the questions with the most obvious answers are the ones that make it to print. What ever happened to Common Sense?

From the Chicago Tribune:

Dear Amy: 

My son and future daughter-in-law are both in the military and have recently become engaged. They plan to get married this summer.

My future daughter-in-law sent an e-mail to her parents, my wife and me, asking how much we plan to contribute to the wedding. This took me by surprise since I am of the old school and thought the girl's parents are supposed to help with the financial arrangements of the marrying couple.

I thought that we, as the parents of the groom, would be asked by the girl's parents to see how much we could help out.

Am I missing some new order here or am I just being old-fashioned?

We are not rich by any stretch of the imagination and would be happy to contribute something to the wedding, but I was just taken aback by her forthrightness. Should we pony up?

—Old School Dad

Dear Dad: 

Much has changed since you first absorbed the "rules" of wedding financing.

Many marrying couples choose to take responsibility for raising the money to fund their weddings—an idea I heartily support.

It sounds as if your future daughter-in-law has taken the bull very much by the horns; she may have been a tad too aggressive for your taste.

She (and your son) should approach you individually and respectfully and, using the parlance of fundraisers, "invite" you to "participate" in their wedding. Once you demonstrate your willingness to contribute, they should then delicately ask you how much you are willing and/or able to give.

You could respond by offering to pay for a specific element of the reception, i.e. the music, flowers and photographer, in an amount up to your maximum contribution, which you will state.

Your response will help them to develop the parameters of their wedding, along with a budget.

I think that was a nice way to put it, Amy...